Friday, April 14, 2006

Tomkat: The Wild World of Scientology

Here is a question ill spew into the great wide void: Why is it, with the exception of Vincefer or Jennivaughn, that couples like Bennifer and Tomkat transform from mild-mannered, quite respectable actors into couch jumping-Scientology obsessed- Stepford husbands and wives? Wouldnt it seem wiser to be a bit more discreet-if thats possible in Hollywood- and possibly modest? Now, given the fact Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez finally came to their senses and are now both married, thankfully not to each other, I am more inclined towards the ugliness that has become Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
I am not ashamed to say that during my collegiate years I was a fan of Dawsons Creek, the WB teen drama that Holmes starred in from 1998-2004. What I am embarrassed to mention these days is of the fan-sized crush I had on Katie Holmes during that run which ostensibly ran its course and ended once she began to date Tom Cruise. Dont get me wrong, at the beginning of their relationship, like everyone else in America, i thought that it was just another Demi and Ashton (Demishton) and they would drive, fly, gallop, bicycle, into the sunset after all of the shock and awe wore off; yet, we were not that lucky.

Its romantic when: You declare your love for the one your with
Its not so romantic when: You jump up and down like a baboon on a couch that is nationally
televised
Its romantic when: You take your loved one arm and arm down the red carpet, kissing every so
often
Its not so romantic when: For the majority of that time you are playing tonsil hockey

With Tomkat about to bring Tomkat jr. into their dysfunctional lovefest, the secret world of Scientology has peeked its deformed mind out into the mainstream for all the world to see- whether the world wants to or not. Therefore, given what we know so far about the rules of Scientology birth-giving, their philosophy on psychiatric prescription pharmaceuticals, and the couples obsessed dedication to the Ron Hubbard religion, i am can only painfully imagine what the Cruise-Holmes household will be like.

1 comment:

  1. TomKat Bobbleheads on eBay:
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6272004982

    Oh yea, and L. Ron Hubbard was a douchebag.

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